"dream great dreams and find the courage to live them"

-erwin mcmanus

Monday, January 19, 2009

this last week, i've found it especially hard to focus on God's goodness. not just to focus on it, but to remember it at all. it seems like every time i hit a hard spot in terms of financial well-being, suddenly i doubt God's ability to provide. in so many other ways, i just naturally have faith that God will provide. but not with money.

it's something that i've been struggling with a lot. if God is truly good as He says He is, and as i know Him to be, then He WILL provide. He always has in the past! so why do i doubt Him now?

in short, because i haven't worked for the last four months, i spent all of my money, except the $14.28 i have left, on textbooks for classes. and i don't have a job yet. i've been looking at craigslist and moody's part-time off-campus employment postings every single day and i have not yet found success, though i've sent out my resume dozens of times.

i know God will provide. He always does.

on a lighter note, my pcm (practical christian ministry) this semester is with young life chicago northside. i'll be helping with a program thing after school at a high school not too far from here.. i'm excited! i'll go just to observe on wednesday, and then i'll start being involved next week!

school is starting out well. it's taking quite a bit of adjusting to get used to things here again. to get used to studying again. to get used to dorm life again. and to make new friends again. it's interesting how quickly friend groups change...
that's all.

oh. and julia and sarah are moving to chicago next week!!! i am MORE than excited to have the crazy silliness of those two in my life again. i've missed it :(
in fact, i've been realizing more and more that my life at northwestern was truly wonderful. it was fun, full of friends, full of excitement and growth and learning, road-tripping and concerts, and just... beauty in the small things. i loved it. and i had the perfect job... de koffiehoek will always have a special place in my heart...
but i've moved on and i can't look back except to love and to learn. no regrets.

i love chicago, and i never would have discovered my love for the city had i not come here. God is doing a new thing :)


Monday, January 5, 2009

back home safe and sound!

hey guys!
sorry it's been so long since i've updated.. i hope you didn't think my plane crashed, or i never left italy! haha. anyways, i am, in fact, back in green bay. i made it home safely, all my flights were on time, i made it through customs okay, and... things went smoothly.

since i've been home, i haven't done much, to be honest. i've slept a lot, caught up with some old friends, wrapped christmas presents/celebrated christmas, and... well, that's about it. and it's getting a little boring. which means that i'm really looking forward to going back to chicago. i'm excited to get back to school, to be in the classroom again and to study and read! kind of a crazy thought, i know, but i guess this means my trip to italy served its purpose, right?

one of my reasons for taking time off of school had to do with bitterness. i was getting so tired of being filled with all this theological knowlege and never using it. i felt suffocated by moody's rules and the whole atmosphere of the school. and i just needed to get away from it for a while. it wasn't worth it to spend more time there if i wasn't going to appreciate the things i was learning and experiencing...

i am going to move back to chicago on saturday, and i am MORE than excited about it! finally, i can say that i'm looking forward to school. i'm anxious to get started in my classes and read all these books that i've ordered for classes as they arrive at my house almost every day now!

i'd say my time in italy, overall, was wonderful. certain things were hard, that's for sure. but overall, it served its purpose, i learned a lot, and i was able to be a part of Kingdom work.

i have only two semesters left at moody before i head on to the next phase of my life, though i'm not sure at all what that will hold. guess i just have to wait and see :)