this last week, i've found it especially hard to focus on God's goodness. not just to focus on it, but to remember it at all. it seems like every time i hit a hard spot in terms of financial well-being, suddenly i doubt God's ability to provide. in so many other ways, i just naturally have faith that God will provide. but not with money.

it's something that i've been struggling with a lot. if God is truly good as He says He is, and as i know Him to be, then He WILL provide. He always has in the past! so why do i doubt Him now?

in short, because i haven't worked for the last four months, i spent all of my money, except the $14.28 i have left, on textbooks for classes. and i don't have a job yet. i've been looking at craigslist and moody's part-time off-campus employment postings every single day and i have not yet found success, though i've sent out my resume dozens of times.

i know God will provide. He always does.

on a lighter note, my pcm (practical christian ministry) this semester is with young life chicago northside. i'll be helping with a program thing after school at a high school not too far from here.. i'm excited! i'll go just to observe on wednesday, and then i'll start being involved next week!

school is starting out well. it's taking quite a bit of adjusting to get used to things here again. to get used to studying again. to get used to dorm life again. and to make new friends again. it's interesting how quickly friend groups change...
that's all.

oh. and julia and sarah are moving to chicago next week!!! i am MORE than excited to have the crazy silliness of those two in my life again. i've missed it :(
in fact, i've been realizing more and more that my life at northwestern was truly wonderful. it was fun, full of friends, full of excitement and growth and learning, road-tripping and concerts, and just... beauty in the small things. i loved it. and i had the perfect job... de koffiehoek will always have a special place in my heart...
but i've moved on and i can't look back except to love and to learn. no regrets.

i love chicago, and i never would have discovered my love for the city had i not come here. God is doing a new thing :)

-e