six weeks

i have six weeks left here at moody. actually, almost five now.

and the future is so uncertain, i just don't even know what to think. i have one option for housing for spring that may or may not work out (but i'll know within a couple of weeks).
i have several options in chicago (though even those doors may be closing faster than i'd like).
and i have an internship option that could start next summer.
or teach for america. i have a phone interview on saturday with them.
or i could move home.

my heart races just thinking about all these options. and not the "oo, i'm so excited my heart is racing!" kind of racing. more like, "i think i'm going to have a heart attack" sort of racing. not a pretty feeling.

because i'm not sure what i want to do, i've been considering getting another nanny job to supplement the one i already have. and i'd like to work for starbucks or caribou part-time because they provide insurance. this wouldn't be long-term, but it's a quick-fix, and would give me time to think. my mom says i set my sights too low, which makes me feel like crap for even considering spending the next year of my life at starbucks.

on a much lighter note, i baked peanut butter oatmeal cookies with the girls today. watching a 1, 3, and 4-year old try to bake cookies is really funny. they could hardly even tip over the measuring cups to pour the flour into the mixing bowl. it was fun, and they turned out really well.

oh. and guess what??
i'm going to mexico in december with their family! crazy, i know. they're paying for everything, and they're even paying me to go with them. i'm really excited, though i'm not entirely sure what the expectation will be. they want to stay together as whole group the whole time, unless one of the girls needs a nap, in which case i'll go back to the room with them. not a whole lot of responsibility, from what they've told me.
we'll see...!!