"dream great dreams and find the courage to live them"

-erwin mcmanus

Monday, March 14, 2011

"How to Save a Life"

As promised, here is an inside look at The Fray's song "How to Save a Life."
(listen to it here)

I never understood this song until I came to this place and the intern here told me its background.  Here goes:

The Fray came to the old Denver site of Shelterwood (the place where I'm now working in Kansas City) to lead worship on a weekend retreat.  Everyone split up into prayer partners for the weekend, including the band members.  The lead singer wrote this song after being paired with a young man who was nearly suicidal and praying with him over the weekend.  The lyrics reflect a deep concern for the kid and for his well-being.  So much meaning, so much pleading, behind these words.

Check out these lyrics:  ("you" refers to the singer, "he" refers to the teen)

Step one you say we need to talk, He walks you say sit down it's just a talk
He smiles politely back at you, You stare politely right on through
Some sort of window to your right As he goes left and you stay right
Between the lines of fear and blame, You begin to wonder why you came

Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life

Let him know that you know best, Cause after all you do know best
Try to slip past his defense, Without granting innocence
Lay down a list of what is wrong, The things you've told him all along
And pray to God he hears you, And pray to God he hears you

Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life

As he begins to raise his voice You lower yours and grant him one last choice
Drive until you lose the road Or break with the ones you've followed
He will do one of two things:  He will admit to everything
Or he'll say he's just not the same, And you'll begin to wonder why you came

Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life

The lyrics that affect me the most, I think, are "I would have stayed up with you all night, had I known how to save a life."  We, as the mentors here, don't have all the answers.  Nothing we say or do can prevent these kids from making the same bad choices again and again.  Nothing we say can relieve them of their fierce self-consciousness or their self-centered worlds.  Nothing we say can pull them out of their darkness.  Only God can.  We can pray, we can be there, but it isn't us who do anything - it's Christ in us and through us who influence these teens.  This is becoming more and more of a reality as I delve into a life here:  The focus must remain on Christ or it is utterly meaningless.

So if/when you hear this song, will you pray for the kids here?  And for troubled teens in general?  Let this song be a reminder of the hurt that so many feel, but that so many hide.

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