iniquity.

I've been noticing lately how wicked are the intentions of my heart.
There are times when I do a thing simply because I know it's right, and then I harbor resentment.  There are times when I volunteer for things and then do them grudgingly.  I sacrifice and then play the martyr.

Tuesday's Bible study with the girls was led by the wife of the Doulos director.  She talked about iniquity and the intentions of our heart, repenting of them, allowing God to sift through our lives to get out the chaff.  It's a painful process, as we are forced to evaluate the deepest parts of who we are and why we do what we do - but it's good.

Just because we don't actively sin, it doesn't mean that we are free and clear of it.  Instead, we are guilty of sinning in our hearts, sinning where no one sees, sinning where it looks like we don't sin at all, which makes us look oh so much holier than than we really are.

I prayed a prayer that night that God would reveal to me the iniquities of my heart, and boy, is it being answered every stinkin day.  Whether it be through making vividly apparent the judgmental thoughts and the rude unspoken comments, or through the conveniently coincidental readings and Scriptures and sermons and devotions on the same topic, God is revealing them to me.  And, honestly, it hurts to see the ugly parts of who I am.

And yet He loves me unconditionally.  I sure do serve a good God.