disobedience.

God always gets His way.
But you know what is forever true?  His way is always the best way.  Even if it takes time to for us to realize it.

God often calls us to do specific things.  Some are easy and enjoyable, others are difficult and take a lot of courage.  Like Jonah, we have the choice to obey and go to Ninevah, or to say no and run in the opposite direction.

When we disobey that voice of God and run the other way, there is most certainly disappointment at the other end.  Disappointment and pain that could have so easily been avoided had you just done what you knew you should have done to begin with.  Disobedience will always always lead to disappointment.

His plan for our lives is bigger and better than what we see in our day to day.  His desire is to use us, to love us, to bring us closer and closer to himself in order to bring restoration to this world.  He knows us inside and out, knows our desires before we do, knows our thoughts before we think them, and absolutely desires the best for our lives.  So when He tells me to do something, why do I still choose to think that my way is better?

It stems from a pattern I was recently reminded of.  A pattern of rebellion and disobedience that once had very tangible consequences in the form of spankings as a small child, then grounding and restricted computer use in my teens.  It progressed to internal consequences of feelings of guilt and condemnation over disobedience after I left Green Bay.  And now?  Well, now it seems God is showing me again and again that He gets His way whether I choose to listen to Him or not.  The consequence?  Pushing myself away from the one, the only one who has my best interests in mind and can tell me what I need to do.  I create my own consequences when I separate myself from the creator, the lover, the one who wants desperately for me to return to Him.

So I repent and I obey and I run to Him, confident that He knows best.  That the development of my respect for my authorities here on earth is to now be translated to a God who is my ultimate authority.  If I were to go to the Lord first and listen to the Spirit first and trust in Jesus first, well.. I would be in unbroken communion with God.  And this is what I desire.