because my dreams are bursting at the seams

every time i put on owl city's music, it puts me in a happy trance-like mode. sometimes it helps me to focus on my reading/studying, but sometimes it just wraps me in the music itself. tonight it's the song fireflies:

You would not believe your eyes
If ten million fireflies
Lit up the world as I fell asleep

'Cause they'd fill the open air
And leave teardrops everywhere
You'd think me rude
But I would just stand and stare

I'd like to make myself believe
That planet earth turns slowly
It's hard to say that I'd rather stay
Awake when I'm asleep
Because my dreams are bursting at the seams

this is the part that gets me. sometimes i think i dwell so much on dreaming that i don't really live. i look to the future and don't enjoy today for what it is, or i see going to bed at night as an indicator of the success of my day. did i make it through? did i get everything done that i needed to get done? instead of thinking about what i did to make a difference today. or what i said to make someone feel special today. what i learned today.

man, there are so many things that we miss out on because we're so focused on the future and just making it through another day.

today i had a chai tea misto from starbucks and then hung out at CSM with tim and kelly for a little while. i haven't seen them in a couple of months, so it was about time i visit. and that's my "living for today" for today.


also, if you think of me, pray for decision-making. i have a lot of it coming up here really quickly. do i get a teaching certificate? or a masters + teaching certification? what subject area do i want to teach? (i'm thinking literature..) i don't know. too many things to think about.
and what if i get accepted to TFA? man oh man. i'm so tempted to decline because it would be hard.
hmph. that's all for now.
still in owl city trance-mode. ha.