"dream great dreams and find the courage to live them"

-erwin mcmanus

Wednesday, February 9, 2011

a space to call my own.

The past few days, I painted my bedroom at my parent's house.  Now it feels like I have a real place in this house again.

Back in August, my little sister and I switched bedrooms, since she would be the only kid living here after this summer when Daniel moves off to college.  So Kristen got the huge, cool bedroom over the garage, while I traded into the smallest one with butterflies, picket fences, and trees painted on a sky blue wall.  It's not a big deal, considering I only spend a few weeks here every year, but it just didn't feel like my own.

So when I figured out I would be spending February in Green Bay, my mom and I jumped on the opportunity to redo this room.  It has turned out beautifully - so close to the bedroom I've wanted for years now.

I have started unpacking the piles of boxes that are scattered throughout the house. but as I put things away, I just keep wishing that I wouldn't have to pack them away again.  Couldn't this room be my own bedroom in my own house?  When, if ever, will I own a home?  I want to do home projects: tiling floors, painting walls, decorating.  But right now, I am in no place to have my own home.  Not only have I lost a steady income, but I don't have a job to settle into, nor a home in which to settle.  I'm a restless transient who doesn't want to be a transient anymore.

Someday I know that I will settle down, preferably sooner rather than later.  For now, though, I need to be content with where God is bringing me.  Let this newly decorated bedroom be a reminder that someday I will be able to decorate not only a bedroom, but a whole home.  Let that day come quickly!

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