advice.

We are so good at giving advice, aren't we?  There's always something that someone else could so easily do differently that would make their situation, or themselves, better.  And we are all too ready to make an opportunity to inform them of this imperative information you have and they don't.

There are dozens of newspaper columns and magazine articles that are full of advice on how to do something better, how to fix a relationship, how to... anything.  Dear Abby thinks she can fix anything, and Judge Judy thinks she can determine a verdict.  Dr. Phil thinks he can explain things away and get people to think rationally.  We all see ourselves as magi when it comes to giving advice.

And somehow I have it all figured out, while everyone else around me is falling apart.  It then becomes my duty to share the never-ending wisdom to help fix it all.  We say to just do this one thing and you'll be fine.  Or to just change the way you see it.  Or just tell that person how you feel.  It's always prefaced with a "just" as if it is the simplest thing in the world, why didn't you think of it yourself?

Sound familiar?

A twisted way of thinking, no doubt.  But it's real.  Until real introspection begins.  The kind that recognizes even the most deeply rooted issues that make me no different than any of the teens I worked with at Shelterwood or the women I work with now, or anyone else, really.  And in this reality, I remember the depth of grace.

I recognize profound beliefs that are untrue.  Thoughts that reflect inaccurate perceptions of reality.  And feelings that culminate based on those lies.  I am no different.

And here I begin to see my words of advice, at work and otherwise, as empty shells of false hope that, given to the right person who hears it the right way, may somehow make a difference if the Holy Spirit gives them understanding.

So I think about my words to others and begin to see their relevance in my own life.  I've recognized unhealthy thought patterns in my own life that so distinctly reflect those unhealthy ones in others that I work so precisely to eliminate.  I encourage them to use tools to change their thinking, to remind themselves over and over again of truth, to go to the Lord instead of allowing thoughts to rule them.  I rarely, if ever, take the advice for myself that I give to the women I work with.

Who am I to think that I am above those techniques and above those practices?  If it works for them, it will certainly work for me.  If it's beneficial for them, it is certainly beneficial for me.

It's about time I take my own advice.