processing.

Tonight I sat with a girl outside of the sanctuary at church as she sobbed.  It had been nearly a half an hour since she ran out during worship, and there were still no words, but it was imperative that we stay.  It was the first time in six months that she had cried, and finally it all came out.  She had worked through so many things, changed in so many ways during those months, and finally she could verbalize to me that she was broken over the piece that had remained untouched.

I was reminded of the importance of tears.  Sure, I may have spent the better part of my last year and a half at Shelterwood crying over the brokenness of those girls and the difficulty of the position I was in there, but it has been a while.  Once removed from there, the tears shut off - for the most part, anyway.  And so did the processing.  Somehow the two are linked for me, and when I'm thinking through something that deeply affects me, well, crying is inevitable.

We all have something like that, don't we?  I know someone who, when he needs to think through things, takes a bike ride to another state.  Another spends time writing poetry to reflect his thoughts.  Yet another paints until her canvas is full and her head clear.  Still another talks incessantly until every piece of every thought and every possible scenario and solution is spoken aloud.  Each is different, but all are means to an end: clarity.

And we all want it, right?  Nobody wants to sit in confusion.  Nobody wants to remain in insecurity and doubt and pain and fear.  We want freedom and we want understanding.  God gives us means by which we reflect who He is and thus bring Him glory as He works in our thoughts to bring perspective to every situation we may find ourselves in.  Therapists may call them coping mechanisms, but in the wise words of Shakespeare,

"What is in a name?  That which we call a rose by any other name would smell as sweet."

So we learn to cope and process and heal in a way that brings us closer to the only one who can bring real healing, and we learn to enjoy Him in our everyday lives that used to bring us farther from the Lord.

It's about time I take this all for myself and begin to really process this new stage of life I find myself in.  A new place, new job, new life, and for no short amount of time.  Oi.